Good thing I’m not like that anymore!

Well, the summer’s over. Labor Day is here and gone.

When I was a kid, this was a big deal. Not only were my carefree days of swimming and riding bikes over, I had to go back to school.

For a smart, nerdy kid, I really detested school. And contrary to what my mom would tell you, it wasn’t because I wasn’t being challenged by the curriculum, it was because I was lazy.

Good thing I’m not like that anymore!

Back then, I was a bit of a worrier. The first of June would come around and I would think, “You know, in a few weeks, they’ll start having back to school sales. The summer is almost over!”

Good thing I’m not like that anymore!

There was just something about summer.

At school, in Glastonbury, CT, I wasn’t very popular, but during the summer, at our shack we named “The House That Pip-pay Built”, I had like 5 or 6 friends!

Back before everyone was getting molested, we were free to do whatever we wanted. We’d wake up in the morning, play some Nintendo. Then we’d go swimming in the lake. We might take out a boat and go tubing. We’d ride our mountain bikes around the lake to the camp store at Burlingame State Park, or we’d cross the highway over to Ninigret, which had been a WWII airfield.

We’d trespass, we’d vandalize, we’d steal shit and light forest fires. Good clean fun.

I was the oldest of our group and sometimes my friend Chad and I would put on white khaki pants and hang out with the two older kids, by their van that they called “The Fuck Truck” because it had running lights and a retractable bed in the back. Also, a bubble window!

Back then, I was kind of a loser.

Good thing I’m not like that anymore!

So anyways, now I’m old and I live in Los Angeles where it’s basically summer all year long. I don’t have to go back to school, come September, but these kids today do and that means less people at Disneyland.

It also means less of the oppressive heat that I hate so much. It means lower electricity bills that I have to pay because I am a big boy now.

Pretty depressing, huh?

Every once in a while, I’ll catch a whiff of something on the wind. On a warm, yet cool late summer evening and it’ll take me back, just for a second. I’ll just get that feeling. The feeling of knowing you’re free, at least for a little while. No school, no job. Nothing to do but have fun and goof around.

If my girlfriend was here, she’d chime in with a sarcastic, “Good thing you’re not like that anymore!”

But if my life is so carefree and happy-go-lucky, how come I’m so miserable all the time? Why do I sit in the dark listening to Joni Mitchell songs over and over? And where the hell are my pills, anyway? Get off my lawn and get a job, you punks! When I was your age, I had to walk 12 miles to school in the snow! You kids today with your automobiles and your hair cream and your rock n’ roll.

Yes, summer’s over and in the past I would have made a big deal about it.

Good thing I’m not like that anymore.


  1. Sex Robots is great. I watched it while taking a shit at the Roosevelt hotel in Manhattan last night, before meeting up with Matt for his 35th birthday.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s