My offer to Conan O’Brien

Mr. O’Brien,

Much has been said about your current situation with NBC. Along with this comes speculation about what you will do next.

I have seen it estimated that even if you do sign a deal with a rival network, it will take anywhere from a year to 18 months before you are back on the air.

In TV Land, that’s a very long time and the public can be fickle. Right now it’s dangerous for you to laze about in your gold-plated mansion or one of your many luxurious yachts, frittering away the collected goodwill of the nation.

You have received many offers from various corners of the entertainment world, you even have a contest where your fans can vote on which one you should accept.

Let’s be honest. Most of these are silly. People making joke offers.

You’re a comedy writer. You should be writing comedy. Not acting in a pornographic film.

So here’s a legitimate offer: write for the most pro-active, paradigmatic newsletter the world has ever seen: Skizzleplex.

Now, I know you’re used to being treated like a big cheese, but you won’t get any special treatment here. I’m giving you the same deal I give my friends. Write a comedy piece, it can be about anything. I’ll run it. Depending on how it turns out, maybe you can do another one. The possibilities are limitless.

I think this could be the thing that gets your career back on track, I really do.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Eric Filipkowski

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3 comments

  1. HaHa! I have you now. All I have to do now is submit my screenplay to Skizzleplex under the guise of being a short comedy piece, and by your own verbal covenant, you are now not only bound to read it, but to DISTRIBUTE it. In your lust for Coney goodness, you have fallen for the oldest trick in the book. the old Create-A-Late-Night-Talk-Show-Host-Controversy-And-Trick-The-Humorist-Into-Reading-Your-Screenplay ploy. God, I can’t believe you fell for it. Wait’ll I tell my therapist (he’s got a screenplay, too).

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