My weird eye

Photo 56

This is a picture of me and my new hair cut. It’s also a picture of my weird eye.

The problem isn’t my eye, itself. It’s the lid. There’s too much skin there, or something.

This was confirmed by my eye doctor. There is a test and when half of your vision is obscured by your lid, you qualify to get it fixed by your insurance. Mine is at 30%. So it has to get worse before I can get it fixed.

It’s not lazy or anything, seriously. In pictures like this, it looks like it is because I’m trying to compensate by opening my eye really wide.

I think this is what’s wrong with Forrest Whitaker, too. And look at him! He did alright, you know?

That’s not terrible company to be in, right?

You could do worse, no?

I mean, as far as I know, he’s not the guy most women dream about while they’re banging their husbands and boyfriends, but I’m sure there’s a percentage. It might be small, but when you play the odds, that’s what? Thousands? Hundreds, at least?

I dunno.

He’s rich, right? That covers the gold digger contingent. Those are usually hot, right?

“Hey wait, don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up. A guy can dream.



  1. So that’s the problem: an uncircumcised eye. Because, dude, if you could SEE Lindsay, you would know why all these hot guys are wearing “I am not worthy to lick Eric Filipkowski’s sandals” t-shirts, which you apparently also cannot see. Which actually may not be a bad thing, come to think of it.

  2. Are you talking about real Eric or fictional Eric? It looks like real Eric is just not completely closing his eyelid. If this is how real Eric usually looks, I am very sorry.
    I am very disapointed that you deleted your Jeff Goldblum thread. I haven’t posted any comments here for awhile but I continue to “check-in,” a bit of a silent stalker. It seems your commercial successes have gone to your head. I hope you do the right thing and put the Goldblum thread back up there immidiately!

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