I hate flying

Composed at 30,000 feet.



  1. You look like Al Quada with that hoodie on. And those wires running all over it. What’s wrong with you?? Did anybody question you? Here are some things you should refrain from saying out loud while dressed as a bonafide Talibani member:
    “I am a very large man.”
    “You dropped the bomb on me, baby.”
    “Do you find me threatening?”
    “What are box-cutters used for?”
    “Got a light? Oh! Nevermind, I found my matches, they’re in my shoe.”
    “Where is Mecca from here?”
    “Georgia On My Mind”

    Happy travels, terrorist.

  2. If man were meant to fly, God would have allowed him to “evolve” some sweet rocket boots or something. This “aeroplane” business is the work of the Devil!

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