Olympic Fever!

I’ve got it!

The symptoms:

Chills? Check!

Night sweats? Check!

Violent diarrhea? Check!

Unexplained weight loss? You betcha!

There’s too many choices! Look at that programming map. I was up all night only because I didn’t want to risk going to sleep and missing anything. Plus, I couldn’t sleep.

I literally can’t stop shaking, I’m so excited!

When Li Ning appeared to float to the top of the stadium, some 300 feet up and carry the torch as he ‘ran’ around the lip of the roof, before lighting the great cauldron of fire, I was captivated.

And I made a choice, right then and there.

Oh sure, I could have ran down the hall to relieve myself, believe me when I say the thought occurred to me, as I was in an incredible amount of pain, but I wasn’t gonna watch this on YouTube or see the highlights on the news later. I was going to experience it – live! (Well, with a 19 hour tape delay). Sheets be damned!

And who knew that badminton could be so exciting? Trust me, folks. This isn’t the game your remember playing in your backyard. Also, my ears won’t stop bleeding.

I think I eventually passed out in a pool of my own sick around 5 or 6 this morning, only to be woken by the heart-pounding finale of the opening ceremonies where Li Ning appeared to float to the top of the stadium, some 300 feet up and carry the torch as he ‘ran’ around the lip of the roof, before lighting the great cauldron of fire!

That’s right, Mr. Bojangles, grab your fiddle and sing me a goddam song, because I can bend fucking time! 23 skidoo! Olympics! Yeah!

So as I look forward to the next 16 days of programming, I’m going to rely only on my love of this great country to get me through this ordeal. With His help, I will get there. If not, it’s been nice knowing you, Steve.

11 bottles of generic Ralph’s green iced tea with citrus flavor

1 8 oz glass bottle of Coke

10 cans of 7 Up

An unopened six pack of Yakult that my girlfriend bought and never drank and is probably a few months past its shelf life.

1 pocket full of rainbows

A 12 pack of BL Lime

1 Miller Chill

1 Bacardi Mojito

1 empty Brita Class (48 oz.) water pitcher



  1. Don’t you die on me, Eirc, you hear me? Don’t you die! Here are some insirational words to keep you going:

    “Redeem Team”
    Michael Phelps
    Women’s Individual Sabre
    Dara Torres
    Michael Phelps
    Michael Phelps
    Synchronized Springboard
    Michael Phelps again
    Shawn Johnson
    Phichael Melps
    Michael Phelps

  2. I’ve been getting some hits to this from people trying to figure out if MIchael Phelps has Marfan Syndrome. I hope not, because this will ruin all my excuses why I can never help people move.

  3. I’ve been trying to figure out if my friend “lefty” has Peyronie’s Disease. Will this site help me with that?

  4. Last night while watching the Olympics they gave a breakdown of why Michael Phelps is the swimming machine he is, and as soon as they started describing his body, freakishly long arms, short legs, unporportioned body–I said to my husband, “He’s a Marfan” I never really noticed his oddities until they pointed them out because he’s always in the pool. But I took a really good look at him after that and I would bet that he is for sure.

  5. Hey, he does have Marfans, I just looked up some other things on the web. That is really unfortunate, he’s an awesome swimmer, and that syndrome can knock you down dead instantly. I wish him the best!!

  6. Nah people with Marfan’s have really long legs.
    Also they tend to have heart problems and don’t usually have good physical stamina and considering he’s the best athlete in the world right now I wouldn’t think that’s the case.

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