I hate Lee White

You know how something will piss you off and you think to yourself, “Hey, I’m sick of this bullshit, I’m going to call these people and give them a piece of my mind!”?

And then you call and you start telling the guy why you’re so pissed off and then halfway through you start wondering why the hell you bothered?

He couldn’t care less, he’s not the guy who did it. He’s not going to pass along your complaints. Nobody cares. Plus, you sound like a baby, because, in reality, it’s not a big deal, all things considered.

A few weeks ago, I got a new credit card from Chase. The weird thing is, I didn’t need one. Mine had a year to go before it expired. I had been meaning to go through all my mail and stuff, so today I put that in the “to-do” pile and when I got to the card, I called the number to activate it.

Which is when I discovered why they sent me a new card. Same exact card. Not an upgrade. They just want you to call so they can try to sell you their fraud protection and a whole bunch of other bullshit you don’t need and doesn’t do what they promise anyway.

I was really pissed off at this. I wanted to cancel the whole thing and just keep using my old card, just to be a dick, but of course, you can’t. It’s too late and you’re only talking to a robot anyway.

By the time I went to peel the sticker off and saw it leave a sticky residue all over the front of my card, I had really had it!

Boy howdy, I called them up and really aired my grievances! Until the remorse and regret mentioned above kicked in.

All in all, it was the 3rd worst birthday I ever had.



  1. I had a similar experience just last week, I got a WalMart credit card both because they take off 3 cents per gallon when you fill up with their card and because I am a fat Southern redneck who believes Super WalMart is the greatest thing since regular WalMart. So I call to activate it, and this surly dude answers the phone and is obviously reading from a script.

    Miserable WalMart Credit Guy: [in a monotone, slightly annoyed, “I hate my job and the whole world” kind of voice] Hello, thank you for calling WalMart card services. How can I help you today?

    Me: Yeah, I need to activate my card.

    MWMCG: Okay, sir, I’d be glad to help you with that. Are you calling from the number you used to sign up for the card?

    Me: Sure am.

    MWMCG: Okay, just give me one moment. All right, I’ve got that card activated for you. You can use it beginning immediately. Now let me take the time, to, um, tell you about our Member Protection Program. [starts trying to speak like the Micro Machines guy] TheMemberProtectionProgramallows you to secureyouraccountagainsttheftfraudor,um,accidentalcreditlimitoverages,uh,foranextra,um,$35permonthbillableto,um,uh,youraccountthatwillreflectonyour,um,yourmonthlystatementYoucanenjoythesebenefitsI’vejustdescribedtoyouYouwillhavea60dayevaluationperiodinwhichtheMemberProtectionProgram,um,canbe,ah,canceledatanytimeandallfeeswillbe,um,creditedbacktoyouraccount. With that in mind, let’s go ahead and get you signed up for that today.

    Me: No, thanks, I’m really not interested.

    MWMCG: [in a tone of voice that sounds like he wants to stab me through the phone] Sir, as I just explained to you, there’s a 60 day evaluation period, in which all fees will be credited back to your account in case you are not completely satisfied, so with that in mind, LET”S GO AHEAD AND GET YOU SIGNED UP FOR THAT TODAY![/i}

    Me: As I said before, I’m not interested in that feature.

    MWMCG: [in a tone of voice that sounds like I just stole food from his baby’s mouth] Okay, thanks. *Click*

    Gotta love that WalMart service. Makes me proud to be from the US of fuckin’ A. And if you don’t like it, go back to where from you came from, towelhead!

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