How to eat fried blogs

Aha! I bet you a-holes thought you had me beat! But it’s before midnight and here’s my shitty blog for the day!

I bet you thought, “Wow, it’s been like a week and already Eric hasn’t been able to post one blog a day! What a loser he is!”

Well, I may be a loser and I may be fat, but you’re forgetting that I’m also a fat loser!

Speaking of that, this is my new obsession:

That’s right! I’m on a virtual Disney World vacation! Whenever I want! Would a fat loser with no friends who is ugly and a loser and lazy and stupid do that?

I think not!


  1. Please. Don’t be down on yourself. You are not fat.

    I was going to leave it at that, but then I found out you are not a loser, either. I think that the work you do entertaining asses is very admirable. Thanks, ry-ry. I just about passed false judgement on a very good and charitable man.

  2. I used to have a bad case of the assclowns. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have to give a major presentation in front of the entire marketing department while you’ve got a baloon animal hemorrhoid in the shape of a giraffe sticking out of your butt?

    Also, every time I would fart, confetti would shoot out. And blood.

  3. Speaking of Mr. Gacy, that reminds me of a true story.

    My mom is goofy as hell sometimes. A few years ago, she decided to start keeping a little “guestbook” to sign on holidays. I mean, it was always just my parents, my mom’s parents, my brother and me, and whoever we dragged along. Sometimes my uncle would be there with his family. So, basically, there would be about 16 people there at full capacity (we are caucasian and protestant, so we don’t propogate that much).

    I sure had a hard time remembering all those names!

    So I decided to do something about it. I started signing in as John Wayne Gacy, Sirhan Sirhan, Ed Gein, or somebody else heinous. I haven’t seen the book in a while. I think she fills it out in the closet now.

    Oh, also, I was wondering something. My brother’s middle name is Wayne. Am I in any danger?

    Nervous in Nevada

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