I’m so tired.

I mean, like all the time.

I wake up, I want to go back to bed. Noon? I want to go back to sleep. 7 pm? Back to sleep.

The only time I’m not tired is when it’s actually bedtime. I’m sorry, I just can’t close my eyes at 9 pm, no matter what Mommy–I mean, my girlfriend, says.

I need a new mattress or a drug habit or something. Someone give me one of those memory foam ones.

Seriously, I’m like a zombie. I need some sleep.



  1. Maybe you need 5 new mattresses (3 memory foam and 2 spring) and 2 new drug habits. Let’s raise the bar on this one.

  2. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0392878/

    it’s probably the worst film I have attempted to watch. ever. it’s like an hour and a half episode of mad tv if all the actors were extras and the director was a drunk retarded person high on paint fumes completely disregarding reality. i’m making it sound much better than it is. if carson daly wrote a film, it would resemble the onion movie. actually, carson’s script would probably be funnier.

  3. Sorry, bandini, but I refuse to believe that the movie is as bad as you say. It has two guys named “Ahmed” in it, and even better, one of them is named “Ahmed Ahmed,” so that’s really equilavent to three Ahmeds. If history has taught us one thing, it’s that there is no stopping the force of three Ahmeds. Look it up. I think it’s in the Bible or the Koran or whatever the Jews read.

  4. I think the movie probably would have been better (as would all movies) if it was shot from the point of view of Colin Farrell in a phone booth. THEN you’ve got yourself a film.

    Oh, and Scott, I think the book you are referring to is “Diuretics” by N. Ron Huggins. He also wrote that Pat Benatar song “Earth is a Battlefield”. I recommend them both for their rich, Jewy goodness.

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