Hail to the King!


(click here to watch the video)

Yes, I am still milking this shit and no, I can’t let it go. At least not yet.

I realized I may have jumped the gun by conceding defeat, because it occurred to me, I don’t always have to be so negative.

Well, in real life I do, but not on the internet! No, here I can be anything I want to be!

So, just like last time, I got sick of playing second fiddle to a bunch of nobodies, decided to change the rules and made myself the King of Digg!

To everyone who supported me, thank you so much. But since nobody did, you can all go to Hell and kiss my ass.



  1. There’s something about that song at the end of the video… makes me wanna break out of my tired routine as a classically trained but struggling jazz dancer and, with the help of two young African American street dancers, learn a new style of dance that will change the world and the views of my rich, uptight parents. Then maybe a few months later I will join up with the same two street toughs in order to dance our way into the hearts of some rich old businessmen who might want to bulldoze a community center somewhere. I dunno, just a thought.

  2. What a great way to begin your rule of the world. Of course, you know, the crown and scepter (sp?) were awesome-I mean, you can’t rule the world without them. And just, what great words dude, great. =D

  3. After further review, I have to ask you, why won’t you let us see your pretty face? I can’t even tell if you still have the neck beard. like my Nana used to say, “A man who wears facial hair, and then puts on a robe with a big furry collar so that you can’t see where said facial hair ends/begins is hiding something”. Nana was very precise in her condemnations.

    Also, wasn’t 323 a shitty Mazda econobox? I bet if you pointed that out to the “people” in Beverly Hills, they’d get their area code changed in a hurry. Something more appropriate, like 450 SL or F355.

    Guess they can donate 323 to Torrance.

  4. Dear Mr. Nosy,
    My face is hideous and deformed. You all know that. Covering it up isn’t my right – it’s my duty. And that’s actually not a furry robe. It’s a fur! It just blends so well with my neckbeard, it’s hard to tell. The 323 is a Mazda. It’s now you just called the 3 and it’s consistently rated in the top of its class. Also, Beverly Hills is 310. I think Torrance is probably 213… not sure though. I was worried that joke might not play well in the sticks. In case you missed that, I’m saying you’re from the sticks.

  5. Aww, don’t say that, your majesty. I think you have the face of an angel. A hideous, deformed angel, but an angel all the same.

    Oh, and my grandma called. She wants to know when you’re going to return her white mink stole. I told her she probably wouldn’t need it at the nursing home, but then she forgot who I was and started calling me “Valentino” for some reason. It was creepy, so I got the fuck out of there. So give her the fuckin’ thing back already. She gets really bitchy when she can’t wrap up inher mangy old fur while watching her stories, and I really don’t need her calling me every five minutes.

    Sorry I cursed at you, I’ve been having a rough time lately.

  6. Your Royal Magesty Eric, can I be your court jester? I do this really funny thing where I stick out my already bloated stomach, grab it with my hands, and say “Uh oh, too many tacos!” It’s funnier in person, trust me.

    If that doesn’t work for you, I could always be your butler! The lady who runs the local retirement home said that she’d never seen anyone get pee stains out of a sheet like I did. Then she asked me who I was, how I got in, and why I was cleaning stuff. Then I ran like the dickens. Oh man, that was a crazy night!

    Lates Peeps

  7. if you’re gonna spend your kingdom’s riches on head ornaments then I know the guy for you. seriously your crown is broke as fuck and not worth 20 gs at all. this guy will sell you the real deal, not some plastic shit painted with magic marker by sick chinese children. talk to my man Edgar at The Crown Store on Santa Monica Blvd. he tries to stay on the DL so he might be like what are you talking about, acting all confused and shit, but whatever thats his deal. (323) 650-1022. dude knows a lot about crowns.

  8. Yes, I do live in the sticks. Your MOM’s sticks, whatever that means. The sad thing is, tat even though I liev in the sticks, it’s still better than Torrance. It’s such a wasteland that it used to be 213, and they took it away and gave it 310s asshole. Just imagine some New Yorker who’s way up his own ass moving to LA, and thinking he can get the coolest pad by searching area codes like he’s used to. Hope you like body shop dust and Weinershnitzel, Chaz! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  9. Wow, the King of Digg? good job! I knew there was a reason I was in the Eric Filipkowski business. However, if I may have a word with his highness in private: with all due respect sire, do not let yourself get too powerful. That is precisely why the French Revolution happened. Like you can definitely let your guard down now and say pretty much whatever you want uncensored (have fun with it!) but don’t do stuff like be up there eating cakes with frostings and petit fors, and having tons of lewd sex acts without us, your people. That would make us revolt, before you even have a chance to make up alien and sedition acts. Okay now since I have become your personal advisor, let me be the first to be knighted? I will let the rest of you know if it hurts or not. Use the bejeweled sceptor on me okay, I shall be a knight in shining armor. Armour.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s