So you think I’m a loser, huh?


Well, would a loser have been in a NATIONAL TELEVISION COMMERCIAL?


And certainly a loser wouldn’t record a commentary for said commercial, would he?

Apology accepted.



  1. Wow. No neck beard! I believe the only thing that would have made that better would have been a seductive little wink while you massaged your meat. I would certainly be adding it to my “Top 5 Fave Vids”. Oh well. It might have been too obvious too, ya’ think?

  2. It was not bad. Perhaps you could have “spiced” it up a bit though.

    Did… did you catch that? Did ya see what I did there? “Spiced” it up? Cumin? That’s right, greatest pun ever, bitches.

    But really, where was all the “ork de bork der doo” Swedish chef talk? And you coulda thrown some of that beef around. That’s how my dad always did it when I was growing up. At first I thought it was because he knew I loved the Muppets and was just being a great fun dad, but now I think it may have been because he was an alcoholic.

  3. I know how you feel, Scott. So many memories. Like the blindfold that kid was wearing. My uncle Prono used to make me wear one just like it when it was time to play “Guess the flavor of the ice cream cone”.

    And I guess dads just have different ways of cooking. My dad didn’t toss the meat like yours did, but he did cumin it a few times.

  4. Well sure, if you wanna go lowbrow. I prefer a more sophisticated, New Yorker-style humour (the “u” adds legitimacy), while you obviously subscribe to the more base Mad Magazine or Cracked milieu. To each his own. Enjoy reading your Maxim while laying in a gutter in a pile of your own filth. I’ll be uptown enjoying an appletini with my peers while regaling them with stories of my alcoholic father (he would get drunk off of nothing less than a premium 12 year-old single malt scotch whisky) beating me with only the finest Italian leather strap.

  5. It seems that the tables of your homour have been turned against you, my friend. For the very filth upon which I lie is indeed not mine but thine. Thanks!

  6. I can’t hear any audio, but damn you are so fukin fit hollywood phony**********xoxoxoxoxoxo**I love you babe

  7. What kind of dish requires that much meat??? There were only 4 blacks on the couch. Were you cooking for them? Wouldn’t they have preferred chicken??

  8. Pit-Pat: You’re shivering! so cold lying there with just a terd for a pillow, let me cover you with a warm blanket of piss.

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