Time to go (back) to work!


Well, I did it! The strike is over!

Indications are pointing towards the Writer’s Guild’s 3 month-old work stoppage coming to an end in a few days.

All I can say is, “YOU’RE WELCOME!”

That’s right, you may have not realized it, but out of solidarity for my brothers and sisters on the picket line, I have eschewed protesting with them in favor of a more effective means of getting the message through to the people in power: I have been really slacking off on my blog.

And it worked!

Seriously, go back a few months. It’s terrible. Some of my weakest product. I would apologize if not for the fact that things were at work here that are bigger than you and your little lunch hour kicks; emailing your friends and commenting on Friendster and MSN Messenger. Hanging on my every word. LOL’ing at my inane quips and observations on life. You’re pathetic.

Under this kind of pressure, the studios realized they were outmatched. It was only a matter of time before they inevitably caved.

So to everyone sitting at home on the edge of their couch, waiting for new episodes of Friends and Seinfeld, you have me to thank.

Like my peers, Martin Luther King Jr. and Ghandi have said (I am assuming), “Let the healing begin!”



  1. Thank you , Eric! I am so excited that Gray’s Anatomy will be coming back! My penis and testicles were already almost back to normal because of the writer’s strike, but now they can thankfully go back to withering and falling off while I watch Meredith, Izzy, and Cristina lust after Dr. McDreamy. And I heard they’re bringing on a new character for these catty bitches to set their whorish sights on this season: the sexy hospital janitor, McRetarded!

  2. How about the cute ER physician who can’t stand the sight of blood- McSqueamy. Roger Daltrey as the charming Ear, Nose, and Throat guy, McFreeMe. The dashing, yet underdeveloped OB/GYN, Dr. Mc Preemie. Or that handsome radiologist with his ribs showing? McBulimy.
    Speaking of, I think Erik desrves his own guest spot. The role? McRibby.

  3. Eric, you never responded to me after I sent you the blue-prints for OUR new house. So I will not be thanking you. And I hope that my request (decision) to share a bedroom with you and Lindsay isn’t the reason for your indecision. As I said in the letter, it will give us extra room for the sexy parties and foam machine. That is all I am going to say about that!

    And also, McDreamy was brilliant in his portrayal of the dorky, prepubescent/sexually confused camper ‘Rudy’ in the shitty little film ‘Meatballs III: Summer Job. And he was also pretty good as that lesbian in ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’.

  4. Whatevs, mimi. Everyone knows Can’t Buy Me Love was far inferior to it’s far superior streetwise 2003 remake Love Don’t Cost A Thing, starring everyone’s favorite bad boy pimp, Nick Cannon. Thankfully, the success of that film has paved the way for future ghetto fab remakes of ’80s teen flicks such as next summer’s highly anticipated That Bitch Be Poppin’ in Pink, Yo! (a re-imagining of the 1986 classic Pretty In Pink) and next fall’s The Goonies remake, The Goonies, N*gga! (rated PG-13 for strong language in the title).

  5. What about that one movie where Mc Creamy loosed his monkey, spreading disease and pestilence throughout an entire region in the US? I think it was called “In The Mood”.

    And Scott, I think that “Rudy” was the character of the shy but able underdog in the original 1981 hilariparody “Meatballs I: The Original; I Mean Before All Those Sequels Like ‘Porkys II’ And ‘Zapped Again’ (Feelin’ me, Scottie?)”, played by another wonderful spaghetti thespian, Chris Makepeace. Oh, Chris, Me had such High hopes for Ye. “My Bodyguard” was good, though. Matt Dillon is the bees knees! ;-D

  6. Yes, i have to agree on the “My Bodyguard.” Such a honest portrayal of class in america. Remember how the gritty bodyguard dude from the wrong side of the tracks whose hair is messy everyday and he comes to school with literally dirt/mud on his face and all over his clothes? He’s the one who gets stuck with the low level security job! oh yah, that reminds me of The Outsiders with Matt Dillon in it. He was ponyboy right? sigh. The golden days of acting.

  7. God damn it! One of my biggest pet peeves is when people incorrectly identify the roles of the actors in The Outsiders! It was C. Thomas Howell, not Matt Dillon, who played the role of the sensitive young protagonist Ponyboy. And we can’t forget Ralph Macchio’s crucial supporting role as Ponyboy’s sidekick, Puppyfucker.

  8. Let’s not even go into what “stay golden” meant in the original draft. Suffice it to say, fighting in fountains wasn’t the only type of watersports that Ponyboy and Puppyfucker were into.

    Coincidentally, I lived in Tulsa when the movie was being filmed, and according to local hookers, pimps, bellhops, and coke whores (yeah, thems was the good old days, before crack and meth became the drugs of choice for whores), the folowing is a partial list of the various fetishes of the stars of The Outsiders:

    Ralph Macchio- Rough riding with gay bikers.
    Matt Dillon- Himself. Mainly liked to watch snuff films and jack off.
    Patrick Swayze- As a studio requirement, always had to his nipples covered with pasties when not on camera. This was, of course, to protect the studio’s investment. It also had the unfortunate side effect of virtually destroying Patrick’s entire sex life.
    Leif Garrett- By this time in his career, he couldn’t even get a hooker to bang him. Sad.
    Tom Cruise- Poppers, ludes, coke, bennies, dexies, mollies, vodka, heroin, and Kentucky Fried Chicken. All while watching “Plan 9 From Outer Space” and being blown by a 64-year-old ex prizefighter named Lloyd.
    Emilio Estevez- By this time, he was already in a committed relationship with Vanessa Redgrave.
    Rob Lowe-mainly hung out at Showbiz Pizza and Toys ‘R’ Us, for some reason. Got volume discount on “Hello Kitty” merchandise, ditributed to his “fans”
    C. Thomas Howell- Pony, boy.

    Bear in mind that none of this information is verifiable.
    But, then again, it’s not really UNverifiable.

    I wouldn’t repeat any of it, either way. That’s how rumors get started.

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