fate; destiny.

You may find yourself in Florida for the holidays, sitting around your parent’s house, wondering what the hell you’re doing there, when it will happen.

A gift from God will fall on your lap, slap you in the face and start squirting goo all over you.

Then you will grab a towel and wash off the goo and blog about it.

Like the time I was watching TV and I saw a commercial for Storybook Entertainment, Inc.

I suggest you click that link and have a look around.

The short story is it’s some sort of company that has different characters which come to your kid’s birthday party.

You can check out some pictures of their characters on the website.

Hey look, it’s Elmo!

No wait, it’s “Red Monster!”

Hello Spongebob! Excuse me? That’s not Spongebob? It’s Sponge Boy? OK, well he sorta looks like… nevermind, it’s not important.

OK, well surely you have to admit that you’re portraying that character as Winnie The Pooh. I mean, he’s actually got the word “Pooh” on his shirt!

Nope, he’s Honey Bear. And that’s “Orange Moose” and “Explorer Girl.”


Apparently, they’re dead serious!

The characters that we have are of our own creation. Any resemblance to nationally known copyrighted characters is strictly incidental and unintentional. If you have any questions regarding this issue, we encourage you to contact us.

I wish the commercial was online, because it got me laughing my ass off. The best part is, it came on during Adult Swim, so I didn’t think it was even real, at first. Then I noticed it was a local Florida number.

Now that I’m writing this, I’m thinking you might not be so impressed. But seriously, look at those costumes! Maybe you’re thinking, “Who cares? People rip off stuff all the time. Look at those guys on Hollywood Blvd.”

I guess I just thought that here in Florida, so close to Jesus’s house, things would be different.

I mean, is it just me or does it seem like this isn’t really sufficient to prevent a lawsuit?

Should you have the need for a licensed, copyrighted character at your event, we encourage you to contact the company/copyright holders for your specific targeted character. Ours are as generic as we could make them. In addition, we will only accept bookings from individuals who are aware that we DO NOT represent any licensed birthday party character.

I guess, like those guys on Hollywood Blvd., they just fly below the radar.

But seriously? “As generic as we could make them?” By making them as close to exactly like the original characters as you could?

I see that they do birthday parties, but I only hope they’re still around 230 years from now so they can send “Spider Guy” to preside over my funeral.

And yes, I’m fully aware that if this blog ever comes to their attention, they will most likely ask me to take down the picture of Shmelmo or whatever, since it’s their intellectual property. They might even sue me for defamation or copyright infringement!

That’s how you know you’ve made it, in the blog world.



  1. Like a kid would understand when a giant retarded moose shows up at his party. Might as well throw in Grape Ape, as well (I’m sorry-“Purple Fruit Gorilla”). These kids today just love those Banana Splits, too.

    And it’s only $225 to dress up my preteen daughter in a bathing suit and have a pirate grope her for an hour. Or the 15 minute wham-whirl-thanks-little-girl for only $125. How uplifting.

    If you need ,ore information, I think the manager’s name is John Mark Karr. He seems to be an honest, straightforward guy with your child’s best interest at heart.

  2. I would want Count Chockula to come to my party.

    Actually, I would want 5 identical Count Chockulas to play instruments and sing in a band. They would perform an original composition of my own creation called “Grandpa’s Boner Smells Like Cat Food and Bacon.” Oh and the band would be called “The Four BooBerry’s” just to confuse people.

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