Here I am in the Denver International Airport. Yay!
It is pretty cold here. I flew Frontier and they give you a little tv set at your seat. It really helps to make you feel less miserable.
In case you can’t tell, I hate flying. Being 6’5″ and not rich will do that to you.
Anyway, it’s not like JetBlue where everyone gets free DirectTV, you have to pay for it. It’s only five bucks, so what the hell, right?
Well, not everyone agrees with me because I saw quite a lot of people with the “Please Pay Now, Cheapass” message plastered across their screens. The one free channel is this map that shows your plane and where it is. It also shows how high it is and how fast it’s going. It’s pretty cool.
I thought it was broken because when we took off, the altitude says “15 feet” or something like that. As we were landing, it said 5,000. That took me a while. Get it? I’m in Denver. The Mile-High City.
Normally I’m not so slow, it must be the Xanax.
Also, there are a lot of cowboy hats. My brother lives in Colorado, but he lives in Aspen. These aren’t designer cowboy hats made out of dolphins or something. They’re regular ones.
I was hoping there would be a Chili’s here, but no such luck. I wasn’t even hungry but I couldn’t pass up the KFC/Pizza Hut Express in the food court. I needed to do something to pass the time, right? How was I supposed to know there was free internet?
Actually, there’s a little ad at the top of my browser. It’s pretty lame. These cities talk about free wireless and it’s times like this you realize what could be really cool is actually gonna suck bigtime. The connection speed is slow as shit and these stupid ads take up my precious time.
Plus, the lady behind me complained that her daughter could see the porn I was looking at. I informed her that Hooters.com is hardly porn, but you can’t be too argumentative in these post-9/11 days.
OK, this is probably the worst blog I ever wrote and I promise not to write any more like this.
Happy holidays (unless you’re Jewish or Christian),