OK, you a-holes have been freeloading off of me for too long now.
I want this.
Buy it for me.
C’mon, do it!
I give you seconds, even minutes of entertainment every 3 or 4 weeks and it’s all free!
Well, now it’s time to pay the bills.
Seriously, everybody tells me the same thing: your videos are OK, but they look like shit.
I have to edit on Windows Movie Maker, like a schlub! What is this, Russia?
Buy me an iMac.
Also, I have a Sony DCR-HC32 camera that I have to shoot everything on. Look it up, it’s not good!
I am a world-class comedic talent and yet I am forced to live in obscurity, pandering to a bunch of nitwits who wouldn’t know their–
Hey, just kidding! But seriously, my camera sucks and I need an iMac. And not one of those old ones. I need a new one. With the big screen.
So dig deep. What were you going to spend the money on? Food? This is the internet, you can skip a few meals. You also don’t need that signed Pulp Fiction one-sheet or a limited edition replica sword from the Lord of the Rings.
Shut up and give me some money.