My heros – don’t let their memory die

 shuttle.jpg

I have to type this really fast. I fear the governmetn might be coming to get me because what i am bout to tell you is so fucking weird and fucked up, if it’s true, they will probably send a cia deathsquad to kill me or something.

Basically, I found the space shuttle in my backyard.

Yes, that’s right. It get sworse.

I believe it to be the Space Shuttle Columbia. Te same one that “blew up” like six years ago or whatever.

If you look at the picture, the deatails are all the same. It’s remarkable. Itcan’t be a forgery just because it looks so perfectly real and proportioned at the regular spaceh shuttle.

OH shit.

OK, false alram. Someon ewas at my door but it was just UPS.

Anwayy, my theory is that the space shuttle never “blew up”, it was shot with a shrinking ray so that people would just THINK it blew up.

Think about it: nobody ever actually saw it blow up. Where did all thepieces go? They just disappeared? BULLSHIT.

The space shuttle was shot with a high-tech beam of energy which excited the proton molecules of the fiberglass, heating them and instantaneously cooling them down at the same time so that they expanded and then immediately shrunk to 143rd their original scale.

Thnk it over. It makes perfect sense.

President Bush used the tragedy of the space shuttle and all its occuptants dying to justify the war in Iraq. He lied to us. He told us that Sadam Hussein was repsonsbile but we can see now that it’s all bullshit. This is an unjust war fought for bullshti reasons.

The worst part is, I believe that the plan went horribly awry. The crwe of the space shuttle was supposed to fly back to earth unharmed. They would now be “invisble” for all intents and purposts. They would then be enlarged back to normal, given new identites and blend in with society.

The problem is, I think the space shuttle went way off course if it landed in my back yard! I bet the eocmmunications and stuff got all fucked up in the crash and whatnot and they were unable to communicate. I theorize that theyeither starved to death or out of desperation tried to use their dehydrated food and when it blew up to like a million times its originl size, they all got crushed.

Imagine that. A fate worse than death. Smooshed up against the side of a space shuttle until your brains pop like a balloon or something. Awful.

Our nations heros (of which I am now one) deserve better than this. If this blog gets shut down and I suddenly have an “accident” you people will know the truth now. Spread the word. Don’t let our deaths happen for nothing.

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. dude, that is total bullshit! our government couldn’t conduct that kind of experiment and then keep it covered up as…. hold on…. sorry, my thought-blocking aluminum foil helmet slipped off. wow! that was a close one!
    so as i was saying, that’s why “Major Dad” is the best show ever.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s