Wow. I’m that guy.


Remember when you were a kid and everyone would tease that one kid in class about being a loser?

OK, well, I’ve always been that guy, but I mean the guy who would lie about having a girlfriend?

And nobody had ever seen her?

Because she “lives in Canada”?

Today, I was conversing with one of my many of thousands of fans, online, when I caught myself using the phrase, “my girlfriend is in Canada”.

Now, if you know me in real life, chances are you know this to be true, but if you don’t… I’m just… that guy.

(The guy whose arm you can see holding a beer in the promo for “Baby Talk”, coming soon on!)



  1. Way to hold that beer. It’s like you were born for that role.
    And the picture looks like Marilyn Manson plus a few ribs.

  2. Apology accepted.
    No, but isn’t MM a few ribs short of a Chili’s combo platter? I thought he surgically removed his bottom two ribs because Rose McGowan wanted to make earrings out of them or something.

  3. it was rumored that he removed the ribs to suck his own dick, but then realized that since 2000 his music has sucked enough dick for the both of them.

  4. Ha cha cha! I remember when that New Radicals song came out, he was like, “If I see that guy, I’m gonna kick his ass!” Am I the only one who’s not afraid of Marilyn Manson at all?

  5. not me! the only man i’ve ever feared was magician doug henning, but since he’s bitten the big one, i walk the earth completely fearless.

  6. I too, am not afraid of him. I am however, scared pantsless by Rip Taylor. Why does he throw confetti all the time? Because of his carelessness, I got a massive eye infection from his wayward confetti. Creepy old man.

  7. I thought I had written a blog about Doug Henning at some point, but I checked and I guess it was just a figment of my imagination. Imagine if your “thing” was you were that guy who threw confetti? And he’s built a whole career on that? He was in the Jackass movie, for Pete’s sake! Yes, I said, “for Pete’s sake”.

  8. It looks like you have poor circulation. Do you have angina? Or do you have anpenis (that could also explain the lack of blood flow to your cranium)?

    And, by the way, speaking of Rip Taylor, is Tia Carrere retarded? I’ve always wondered. Maybe she just took diction lessons from William Hung.

    And speaking of Hung, you haven’t answered my question yet.

  9. Has Tia Carrere done anything noteworthy in the past 15 years, aside from giving Mike Myers a Canadian mountie in his pants in Wayne’s World One AND Two, respectfully? At least I know how William Hung is: he played Sulu on Star Trek.

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