Hi, it’s me! Eric Filipkowski! Are you tired of having to spend all day waiting around for the cable guy? Who has the time? I’ll tell you who: Me! Got an important package that you don’t want sitting on your front step? For one low, all-inclusive price, I will come to your house and hang out and wait for shit to arrive. Then when it does, I will put it inside your house where it will be safe. If the cable guy comes, I will let him in and then make sure he doesn’t steal your shit. Unfortunately, I am not able to stay overnight, because I am afraid of ghosts, but there is a lot of other crap I can do, so send me an email and we’ll negotiate.
Eric Filipkowski – the guy who waits for your shit!
Flat rate (up to six hours of waiting around) – $200