Housesitting services!


Hi, it’s me! Eric Filipkowski! Are you tired of having to spend all day waiting around for the cable guy? Who has the time? I’ll tell you who: Me! Got an important package that you don’t want sitting on your front step? For one low, all-inclusive price, I will come to your house and hang out and wait for shit to arrive. Then when it does, I will put it inside your house where it will be safe. If the cable guy comes, I will let him in and then make sure he doesn’t steal your shit. Unfortunately, I am not able to stay overnight, because I am afraid of ghosts, but there is a lot of other crap I can do, so send me an email and we’ll negotiate.

Eric Filipkowski – the guy who waits for your shit!

Flat rate (up to six hours of waiting around) – $200



  1. They have jobs like this in L.A.?! My God man, it’s still the land of opportunity after all! Go west! Jobs, bleah!! Work shold declared illegal, it’s ruining the planet. Boy, I already miss Kurt Vonnegut, but he hadn’t written a good novel in over 20-years. As a Hoosier, I can say matter-of-factly that most people here have no-idea who he was, or his place in American culture and literature. That’s probably because most people in Indiana are incredibly-stupid and backwards, but you probably knew this. ;0) They do say that humor comes from misery, so that must be why I love a good joke! Dude, if you have ghosts, you have everything.

  2. not for nothing, eric, but i prefer to hire professional waiters… and i don’t need you looking at me all funny after signing for my new Filipino boy-servant.

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