Podcasting by numbers

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I hate getting political.

The thing is, sometimes you have no choice.

I couldn’t believe this article when I read it. Basically, it says that they’re trying to pass a law that would make it legal to murder people while you are podcasting.

Crazy, right? Well if this bill becomes a law, that’s exactly what anybody with a computer, a microphone and a Feedburner account will be able to do.

I am opposed to this on so many levels. It just blows my mind that people could think that it’s OK.

When I first saw this, my immediate reaction was anger. No, it was rage. No, it was anger.

Anger that we lived in a world where these Washington fat cats have nothing better to do than make legislation for legalized murder!

If I’m walking down the street and I shoot someone, that’s against the law and I will pay a hefty fine. BUT, if I’m sitting in my room podcasting and I shoot someone I am interviewing, it’s perfectly legit. Where’s the sense in that?

Look, I’m all for free speech and I believe we need to take steps to protect the rights of artists in this country. The Bush Administration has repeatedly sought to censor dissident voices and that can not be allowed. The Founding Fathers didn’t write the Second Amendment so we could have some Texas redneck shutting down museums and taking away school budgets for music class.

But there’s a limit, people!

Murder?? Are you serious?

First of all, if we’re really looking to protect the sanctity of artists in America (and yes, I do believe podcasting is an art), we need to stop alienating the rest of the world with our crazy laws. It makes us all look bad if a few loose cannons turn the American podcasting community into a joke.

I am a podcaster, so maybe I’m not the most objective person to be writing this response, but I don’t see any of my fellow podcasters rushing forward to do it. Change starts with the individual and apparently that individual is me.

Oh sure, murder is great. I understand that. As a podcaster, I know the temptation experienced when a strange woman comes over to your house and you two are alone because you’ve misled her into believing you’ve got a real studio and that your podcast is a legitimate media outlet.

She’s got something on her mind and she needs a forum to say it. Saving the yellow spotted flounder is important and she wants to make sure my six listeners are aware of that.

Well I’ve got something on my mind and it involves her lifeless corpse and an industrial-sized horse carcass meat grinder.

But that doesn’t mean I should do it. Maybe it does, but it certainly doesn’t mean that there should be a law on the books that allows me to do so, consequence-free.

Have these people ever heard the expression “the grass is always greener on the other side of the mountain”?

Why is murder fun? Because it’s illegal. It’s wrong. Society looks down upon those who do it, except in cases where you’re doing it to save a baby from being aborted.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you pleaded with your mom to buy you that BB gun? You begged and begged and watched countless birthdays and Christmases fly past you until finally, when you were 27, your parents broke down and got you that BB gun.

And then what? You didn’t even want the fucking thing. It was boring. You couldn’t kill shit with those BBs. It takes like six of them to knock a goddam bald eagle out of the sky. What kind of bald eagle sits around and lets you shoot it with a BB gun six times? An asshole kind, that’s what.

Now I’m pissed and getting off the subject. My point is, this law doesn’t make any sense. Keep murder illegal for everyone. Podcasters included.

Goddam it, I hate that stupid fucking bald eagle. I’m sorry, but it was really pushing my buttons. Maybe I should have had it on my podcast, then everything would be fine!

That was sarcasm.

But now that I’m thinking about it, I realize I’ve inadvertantly brought up a really valid point.

What kind of world do we live in? I’ll tell you what kind of world we live in: the kind of world where these New York liberals twist their crazy laws to make it legal to kill whoever you want, just as long as that person isn’t a bald eagle.

Fucking shit, do you see the lunacy we’re dealing with here, people?

I am retracting all my previous statements. I am now 100% FOR this law and as soon as it is passed, I invite all these asshole politicians down to my “studio” so that I can podcast about it and congratulate them in person.

Then we’ll see if they keep flying around, squawking at me and sitting on their nest like they’re the fucking king of England!


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