Apparently, I’m a dangerous psycho


It’s true. I have a violent temper. I am irrational and angry. I lash out at people when I am hurt. I take everything personally.

How else to explain the way some women walk on egg shells around me?

I am speaking, specifically, of women I’ve shown an interest in who then go and get a boyfriend. They seem to have a way of becoming distant and evasive with me.

This runs the gamut from “serious girlfriends” who plan on breaking up with me for months while pretending everything is great and simultaneously seeing other people behind my back to “casual acquaintances” I’ve never even met in real life and only talked to online who I may have confessed to having some sort of crush on.

Maybe women do this to all guys, perhaps I’m over-reacting. Afterall, I do take everything personally.

I can see why it might be a difficult subject to broach. I wouldn’t want to say to someone, “hey, I know at one point it looked like we might have something, but now I’ve found someone else and I really like them, so I can’t continue having feelings for you like that, but I’d still like to be friends with you (or not).”

Actually, when you (I) put it like that, it doesn’t sound so bad. Afterall, we’re all adults here, right?

Then again, that could just be my violent temper or my irrational way of looking at things.

No, I don’t think I’m over-reacting and no, I don’t think this is asking too much. If you don’t want to talk to me because you don’t like me, that’s fine. If you’re worried your new boyfriend will get mad or you just don’t want to deal with it, that’s up to you too.

Seriously, if you’re my friend, have the courtesy to tell me what’s going on. If you don’t, then I just feel stupid. If you’re trying not to hurt my feelings, ask yourself would YOU rather be a little hurt from the truth or rather be lied to and ignored and kept in the dark about what’s going on?

Because eventually these things come out. You might think your best friend is going to keep your secrets, but apparently you did something to piss her off. Or maybe she just has a big mouth.

And remember: I’m dangerous. I’m very, very dangerous. You don’t want to piss me off even more, do you? I hear that I’m angry and like to lash out at people when they hurt me.

Sure, I have an aortic aneurysm and I’m under doctor’s orders not to exert myself or lift more than ten pounds but I could probably poke you pretty hard! And though I can’t really yell too well, I could berate you in a moderately loud tone of voice!

Ooh, scary!

Actually, I’ve got a better idea. I’ll just write a really passive-aggressive blog about it, instead, knowing full well you’re probably going to read it.

And then when you write me an angry email or call me up, I’ll deny it’s about you and try and make you feel kind of self-centered for thinking it was.

But it is.

Advertisements

4 comments

  1. Eric you’re huge. I, for one, would stay up at night, terrified of your penis, if I was a chick. You could collapse a fuckin lung, bro. Tell ’em you’ll only use the tip, and watch them warm up to you, or just get yourself a tazer.

  2. are you really a psycho?

    Or this is just a joke. But honestly, that’s why I’m so afraid of meeting people because you may regret it. You never know until you get to know them. The worst scenerio to meet someone is if they’re a dangerous psycho who will stalk you and make your life living hell.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s