This is why the world hates us


One word: “scrapbooking“.

CONCORD, New Hampshire (AP) — Wendy Armstrong won’t confess how much money she used to spend on scrapbooking supplies, but she does admit nearly kicking her daughter out of her nursery to make more room for the piles of paper and decorative doodads.

This is a joke, right? I didn’t even know what the hell this was til a few years ago, but apparently it’s become somewhat of a sensation.

The baby kept her room, but “believe me, it was a very hard decision,” jokes Armstrong, a stay-at-home mom who lives near Portland, Oregon.

LOL! What a surprise, “stay-at-home mom”, I never would have guessed. You see, I was thinking this was a productive member of society who was out busy working and doing something constructive.

Now, before you give me a load of shit about how being a mom is a full-time job, let me point out that if it’s such a full-time job, how come this stupid bitch had all this free time to work on her goddam scrapbooks?

In case you’re shaking your head going, “what the fuck is a scrapbook?”, let me explain. Bored housewives who are too fat and ugly to cheat on their husbands go out and spend hundreds of dollars on these stupid books, basically scrapbooks, only they create “colorful layouts” and put their pictures in them with “creative captions” and “horrible poetry”. The article I’m quoting is about how there’s a “revolution” in the “scrapbooking community” because now all of this can be done on computers.

If they’re just figuring out now that you could do all this bullshit on a computer, it just proves my point of how fucking stupid this is.

Armstrong, 43, now creates all of her scrapbook pages entirely on her computer. No more physical cutting and pasting, no more agonizing over a layout to the point of paralysis.

Paralysis?? This is an insult to all the people out there who are actually paralyzed. Imagine, you’re some kid in a wheelchair and you read this? I’d want to run my wheels over that whore’s throat.

“I had two kids, a backlog of a gazillion photos, and I was just getting to the point where I’d literally have layouts that sat on my desk for months just not quite finished,” she said.

A gazillion photos? Photos of what? You doing your scrapbooking? Your kids crying because you haven’t fed them in weeks because you’re too busy cutting out construction paper? I’m pretty sure you can’t take a picture of the passage of time as you waste your life on pointless busy work, so it can’t be that.

But luckily, digital scrapbooking came along and turned this broad’s dangerous obsession into a merely harmful hobby.

“All of a sudden I didn’t totally panic about finishing my layouts like I did with paper scrapping because I never really had to finish,” said Armstrong, who has completed 240 pages in just more than a year. “It just created so much more freedom than paper scrapping.”

What a relief! 240 pages! Totally panic about what? Are you fucking kidding me? Who are they making this shit for? I bet nobody’s even allowed to touch this crap once they’re done. I bet these are the same people who put plastic on their furniture.

In case you think I’m just blowing steam, that this really isn’t a big deal, according to this article, “digital scrapbooking is a fast-growing offshoot of the $2.5 billion scrapbooking industry.”

2.5 billion dollars. How much cancer could you cure with that kind of cash? Or AIDS? Or tear down the Statue of Liberty and replace it with a golden George Bush telling immigrants to take a hike?

“I think scrappers are becoming savvy. They know their programs and they’re starting to explore it as an art,” she said. “It’s not only about preserving memories.”

“Scrappers”??? “Art”??? Does anyone else have blood shooting out of their eyes right now or is it just me?

Apparently some of these “scrappers” even make their own designs to sell. Surprisingly, they don’t seem to be getting rich doing it.

“You’re just happy getting any money for doing what you love to do,” she said. “I enjoy the creative process … and there’s no mess. You can leave it at any moment and come back to it later, and no one’s messed with it.”

Let me explain something. This is not creative. This is a huge waste of time and money. There are children starving in Africa or China or someplace. There is a war in Iraq and whatnot. I’m not saying this is why 9/11 happened but this attitude that we can live these meaningless lives of extreme leisure and mental atrophy isn’t helping things.

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