A rare (actual) blog post

So you may have noticed I don’t usually “write about my day” here anymore. I’m not a huge fan of blogs, to be honest. I don’t really care what other people do in their regular, boring lives, that’s what sitcoms are for. the exception, of course, is if you are an attractive but slutty young woman who likes to talk about her sex life alot. that was an inside joke.

now, that said, I had a pretty exciting weekend. which is made even rarer by the fact that I’ve been sitting on my ass at my parent’s house in rhode island for the last six months or so recovering from heart surgery. so the fact that I went to new york city this weekend is a big deal.

I took the train on saturday and got there around 1 or 2. I ended up sitting around doing nothing cuz a bunch of my friends who were supposed to hang out with me blew me off. some for legitimate reasons, some to watch the yankee game. anyway, around six I went to the W hotel to have a drink. that was fun, I had a soda because I’m a little nervous about drinking, but I got in trouble for that too cuz apparently I’m not supposed to have caffeine. see, people mean well, but they don’t understand that I don’t have heart problems because of my diet or my excessive smoking that I’ve never done. I was born this way. I don’t have clogged arteries or anything like that. it’s a purely mechanical problem that (knock on wood) has now been fixed. so give me some bacon and coke please. that’s regular coke, not the drug.

so anyways, I was in town to see my friend bill hader perform his first show on saturday night live. these were basically the hardest tickets in town to get. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be watching the show on tv in the hotel when I got a call from my friend rachel, offering me her tickets. her husband, alex, is a writer on the show and the writers get two tickets every other week. my friend was going to go with her mother but instead, gave her tickets to me. I know, can you believe that? it helps to befriend awesome people.

so anyway, I went to the show and it was fucking awesome. if you saw it, you definitely would have noticed my friend. he was in like five sketches and was a huge part of the show. he absolutely killed. I’ve done shows with him in the past and have known him for a while so I knew he was super funny but I was caught off guard by how he didn’t seem nervous at all. it looked like he had been doing the show for years. what I also didn’t know about bill is that he has killed four hookers. he claims they were already dead when he found them and that’s why he took those erotic pictures, but how likely is that? anyawy, that’s a scoop for star magazine, not my blog.

so the show was fucking awesome and then bill was nice enough to get me into the after party and then the after-after party. plus I got to ride in a limo. I felt like a bigshot. or at least the friend of a bigshot who is ready to ride on the coat tails of that friend and mooch off him for everything he’s worth.

all in all, I had a great time but I really over-did it. I thought I was 100% better but staying up late and walking all over new york really took its toll on me. I’m still exhausted. I took an early train home because I was just feeling too shitty to stick around. consequently, I ended up blowing off a bunch of my friends so I may go back in a few weeks to see them before my triumphant return to LA.

Anyway, that’s the story of the time I saved christmas.

Oh, and if you watched the show, the fact that steve carrell watched “charles in charge” is an inside joke that only me and 3 other people would get. so there, I am special and you are not.

just kidding, I love everybody!


  1. You’re right. Your friend really did do an excellent job. I believe it was him that did the uncanny impressions wasn’t it. Al Pacino was dead on.

    Glad you had a great time.

  2. Hader should inform Lorne that he, not the dude from Boat Trip should be kicking it on Weekend Update.

    But all in all Hader did nail his scenes, espec. the Pacino bit…that seemed to score the loudest reaction from the audience of all the scenes.

    And to think he went from a hole in the wall bachelor apartment in Westwood to starring on SNL…fucking crazy.

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