If I was a superhero

I’ve definitely got my super power picked out. If I was a superhero I would have the ability to make up cheesy pet names way too early in a relationship. Like I would start calling the girl “kitten” or something by the end of our second date. My name would be “Way Too Early Cheesy Pet Name Guy” or something catchy like that. I guess I could do that anyway, without being a superhero, huh? I guess I should have thought of that before writing this post. Boy, am I stupid.



  1. I once got the pet name Lioness on the first date.

    He was a Detroit Lions fan.
    I wanted no part of it.

    Especially when he did me from behind and buzzkilled the moment by stating, “this is how lions mate!”

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