commercials that don’t make any sense


you know that boost mobile one where fat joe doesn’t go to a concert or something because he doesn’t have a cell phone back ten years ago before boost mobile even existed and then he becomes a pet psychic? that’s stupid because they say he has a “lucrative” pet psychic business yet the moral of the story seems to be that because he didn’t have something that didn’t even exist he was poor. but luckily he apparently did have something that didn’t even exist so now he’s rich. even though they said he had a lucrative business. that means “earns him a lot of money”. You see where I’m going with this, people? who the fuck has a prepaid phone anyway? what kind of convicted rapist shit credit do you have to have to get one of these things? they’re like 25 cents a minute. I talk on my phone an average of 1000 minutes a month, that would be 250 bucks. plus there’s all sorts of other fees. so the irony of this whole situation is that these people who are too piss poor to spend 60 bucks a month on a decent cell phone service end up breaking their kid’s piggy banks to pay these ridiculous cell phone bills that they can’t afford. I really have no pity for these people though. “I ruined my credit cuz the credit card companies tricked me”. who the fuck doesn’t realize that 22% interest isn’t a good deal? “but they gave me a free t-shirt”. goddamit, you’re stupid. you deserve to get ripped off. I mean it. I’m glad you’re on welfare and your kids have to wear pants made out of surplus carpet to school. good thing you didn’t get that abortion! hey I know, let’s go see the dukes of hazzard movie, that looks great! I’ll brush my teeth later, when I have diabetes! reality tv has to be real, how else could they call it reality? oh damn, madtv is funny!
ok, I’m done.

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9 comments

  1. Amen! As you can see from my 90-dollar pair of Tommy Hilfiger jeans and gold chain necklace, I’m not poor like those morons in your post. I may share a 1-bedroom apartment with my mom and 5 siblings, but I am clearly doing quite well for myself.

  2. That’s funny stuff. I did some work for TRACFONE prepaid wirelesss a few years back. I think they just bought the welfare cheese-list and distributed materials to them. Lines like, “Call your crack dealer–without a trace.” And, “How you gonna get the job if the prospective employer can’t contact you?” Except, you know, without foreign phrases like “prospective employer.”

  3. Where you at?

    I am so glad you chose this commentary.
    I liked the fat joe who could tell the rottweiler’s tooth hurt.

    I was not aware he had a lucritive career. Her is no Jay-Z.

    Any guy that has pre-paid anything (here in LA you can prepay for dubs!) gets a big NO from
    this bee-otch.

  4. You know, I was totally thinking about “Me Talk Pretty One Day” when I was writing about that speech therapy thing. What’s funny is that a counselor came to my class in third grade and pulled me out, telling me I had a lisp.

    It’s really quite similar to David Sedaris. Now, I’m not gay, but I’m sure David would argue that. All I know is: I still have that damn lisp.

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