Anyway, step 1 is to pick your target. Once you’ve got him (it’s gotta be a celebrity of the opposite sex, it doesn’t work if you’re gay), what you do is go out and find his wife and have sex with his wife.
Then you make sure you take pictures when you’re having sex with his wife. Make sure that it is clearly visible that it’s you banging her and that it’s definitely her. Then go and get these pictures blown up to 8×10 glossies, like a headshot.
Then you wait til the guy you want revenge on wins an award. There’s so many of them today he’s bound to win something, even if he sucks. When the award show happens, stake out a good place in the stands so you’ll be near the action.
Now, this is the important part: get some other ‘regular headshots’ and put the sex pictures in the middle so nobody suspects anything. Also, bring a sharpie.
Then, at the award show, yell out “hey scott baio, can you sign an autograph?” I only used scott baio cuz I know him personally and I know he won’t get mad. So when your celebrity comes over, have him sign one regular headshot and then be like “ooh, can I get one more for my son, he has cancer”. You can also say your son has AIDS, it’s your call. This way, the guy will have to be like “yeah sure” cuz there’s cameras around. Then you pull out the picture of you having sex with his wife for him to sign. Now, like I said, there will be cameras and shit around so HE’LL HAVE TO SIGN IT!!! That’s the brilliance of the plan. Oh sure, he might mutter under his breath how he’s going to kill you, all the time with a smile, but he’ll sign it, believe me.
Now what you want to do is sell that signed picture of you having sex with this guy’s wife on eBay or even to one of those shows like Extra or Access Hollywood. Then with all the money you make, you can make your own T-Shirt that says “Scott Baio is a jerk” and then you will get your revenge! It’s the perfect plan!
But on second thought, don’t do this to Scott Baio. A.) because he’s a really nice guy and 2.) he never stays with a girl for more than 3 days and this plan will take much longer to pull off and he’d probably be like “sure, I’ll sign it, I don’t care about that slut anymore” and then the plan would backfire because a picture of you and scott baio’s ex-girlfriend probably wouldn’t be worth shit.
So that’s my plan, if you try it, definitely let me know how it goes.