BAH’RAIN (AFP) – Fallen pop star, Michael Jackson, is in the studio rushing out a quickie parody album of his own songs. The album, tentatively titled “So what? I did it!” promises to be a flashpoint for controversy with song titles like “Billie Jean – I Molest Kids” and “The Girl is Mine (And By Girl, I Mean the Ten Year Old Boy I Just Molested)”.
Speaking from his modest, three-bedroom, split-level ranch in a Bah’rain suburb, Jackson was quite open about his recent financial troubles, as well as the accusations that have followed him for the past twenty years. “Hey, the album title says it all, I did it. Who cares? This place has no extradition treaty with the US, so I don’t give a(n) [expletive] who knows.”
It is believed that Jackson is rushing this album out to stores in order to generate capital to help pay off his considerable debt, estimated by some to be in excess of $200 million. “Jacko needs dough,” said the singer, “hey, people have been ripping me off with parody songs for years: I’m talking to you, Weird Al. So why not get a piece of that for me?”
Whether consumers will be able to stomach the often graphic honesty of the new album remains to be seen. Though he has steadfastly denied such accusations in the past, Jackson goes into painfully detailed specifics about his pederastic exploits on the record. A sample of which could not even be published in a mainstream media outlet. Needless to say, such songs as “Ben, I’m Going to Make Love to Your Children” are guaranteed to be deemed inappropriate for radio.
Jackson seems unfazed by this prospect. “Screw it, what do I care? I just wanna bang some kids. Give me some money, I need to feed my llama.”
It would seem Jackson is hoping the new album will be more successful than his recently released, “The Essential Michael Jackson”, which sold only 8000 copies in its first week of release.