wake up, jerk

When I was a kid, I would get in bed with my feet pajamas on, under the covers and I would settle down for a long night’s sleep. This was around 8 or 9 problem. O’clock. Meaning I was probably like five or six. Years old. So anyway, most of the time I would dream about being a race car driver or seeing boobs or whatever a five year old dreams about and fall asleep right away. Other times, I would feel uncomfortable. I would imagine that somewhere, there were people who weren’t in bed, they were up dong stuff. Then I would transpose the image of me in my pajamas against these wide-awake people and feel very uncomfortable. It’s hard to explain. I felt foolish, yes, but it was more than that. I guess it would be like when people have those dreams where they’re naked in public. I know, it doesn’t make much sense. I don’t know if I was worried that my classmates were going to burst into my room or that it was my general fear that something fun was going on without me or what. But I didn’t like it. I would almost always burst out of bed, take off my pajamas, get dressed and sit there in the dark.
The POINT is, sometimes I still get this feeling. It mostly happens when I take a nap in the middle of the day. Now, keep in mind, I love to sleep. Right now, given my circumstances, it’s my favorite activity. So I take a lot of naps. It’s a good way to take a big chunk out of the 14 or so hours I have to be awake during the day. Plus, I had heart surgery. I need my rest. If I’m tired, I should take a nap. No guilt, right? Except while I’m in bed taking a nap, half a mile away people are swimming in the ocean, having a good time. That should be me. I should be drinking beers and ogling teenage girls who walk by (18 and over only). But I’m not. I’m in bed. Like a weiner. I guess it makes more sense now than it did then and it maybe explains why I stay up so late now, but I don’t know. It just pisses me off because like I said, I love sleeping. And I don’t want anything to screw that up for me. And it’s very hard to find feet pajamas in my size.

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