OK, you know what? Fuck it, I’m excited.
The Star Wars Episode III trailer just came out and I can’t fucking wait for this movie to come out. Yes, I’ve burned twice before. Actually, much more than that if you count the “Wee-sa free!” scene tacked onto end of the Return of the Jedi DVD, but I digress.
Yes, the Episodes I and II trailers looked awesome and yes, those movies did suck big giant donkey balls, but Mr. Lucas, I forgive you and i am once again willing to get my hopes up that this will be the movie to redeem everything else.
Seriously, you don’t understand! While you spent your childhood socializing and playing football, I was in my backyard, carrying a stick around, swinging it ferociously and moving large objects with my mind.
And even then, I wondered: how does it happen? How does Luke’s father turn over to the dark side?
No kissing. No long trade federation debates. Lightsaber battles. Jedis betrayed. Anakin versus Obi-Wan. General Grievous. Wookies!
I’ll be honest, maybe I’m naive, but I don’t see how this can not be the greatest movie ever. OK, maybe if the Ewoks show up. Or Jar Jar. But c’mon, that’s not going to happen, there’s too much other cool stuff for anything lame to fit. For fuck’s sake, Yoda fights the Emperor!
Please God, if I ask only one thing of you, it is that this movie turns out to be only half as cool as I am hoping. I figure you owe me.
It’s like Samuel L. Jackson said in an interview (I’m paraphrasing): “Look, I know my character has to die in this movie and I told George I’m fine with that, but I’m not going out like a bitch.”
Please Mr. Lucas, don’t let Star Wars go out like a bitch.