Hooray, we’re rich!

“Hey Bill, let’s have a contest to see who can get to the deepest level of hell first!”

“Ok Joe! Well, since there seem to be no angels around to rape, why don’t we try and trick some 9/11 widows out of their money?”

“I don’t know Bill, what about something more current?”

“Wait, I’ve got it!”

“WASHINGTON (AP) — Federal authorities are investigating two e-mail scams, including one targeting families of troops killed in Iraq, that claim to be connected to the Homeland Security Department.”

I’m sorry, but this almost sounds made up. Not that I’m questioning the authenticity of this report, but rather the idea that anybody would do something like this for purely monetary gains. First of all, there’s gotta be easier ways of making dough. And it’s not like people in the military are rolling in extra cash. I really think this was a concerted effort to just try and be as stomach-churningly repulsive as possible. So really, these guys are just a bunch of posers.

I mean, seriously, say this scheme was really ‘successful’ and you wound up with what? A hundred grand? Can that really buy you enough heroin to drown out your last shred of humanity? I don’t know, maybe it can, but couldn’t you do the same thing with a plastic bag over your head? That would save everyone a whole bunch of trouble.

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