The culprit.
INT: RITE AID.
ME: excuse me, I would like to return this Axe body spray.
MANAGER: for what reason?
ME: it doesn’t work. The commercials say it will get you laid, no problem. I haven’t had sex in 3 years.
MANAGER: how do I know you aren’t lying? For all I know, you could have had sex twenty minutes ago.
ME: why would I lie about that?
MANAGER: I don’t know, but without any proof, I can’t give you a refund.
ME: what kind of proof? Do you want to smell my dick?!
MANAGER: Yes.
ME: What? Really?
MANAGER: Yes.
DRAMATIC PAUSE.
ME: Okay.
END.
